Understanding the difference between maintaining yourself and truly caring for yourself as an engineer.

For the last five days, I’ve been dealing with a real health issue that I have to manage. In a normal life, I would think about my health and immunity. But a huge internal propaganda has taken over me—I only think about working.

I remember when I was 12 or 13. There was a slow computer at home, and I spent entire nights trying to build a website with HTML and CSS. It took me ten days to finish it. To be honest, it was fun to see my creation appear on the screen.

Any change today? Not really. I’m still hustling around my “tasks,” spending all my days trying to accomplish them. Working has become a dramatic part of my life. I didn’t care about my emotions or how I felt; I just did the job.

Now, at 22, I’m facing real health problems—but I’m glad things aren’t worse. My body has been surprisingly resistant to my stupid behaviors.

I’m young, and I know I’m capable of working for years, but I’m not sure this is the chain of action I should get used to.

I have never really struggled with solving issues or starting innovation in my entire life, but when it comes to myself, I don’t treat my own well-being the way I treat a company’s issue.

You might wonder: “Have you ever taken care of yourself? Even for a single day?” Yes, I have. I went to the gym every day, read tons of books, played many video games, and stayed loyal to my diet. But is that really enough?

Obviously not. I should take care of my emotions, feelings, and thoughts. If I manage to do that, I think that is what self-care really means—not just self-maintenance.

My job is all about scores, performance, and accomplishments, but my life shouldn’t become my “job.” It should be a theatre that I write and perform.

There is no such thing as being truly “excellent” in technical fields, because technical domains are beyond full human understanding—they are paths we walk, not destinations we reach. But life is not supposed to be that complicated—or at least it shouldn’t be.